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I have a friend-let’s call her Venus.
She is smart--she is a lawyer. She is feisty--she refuses to be bound by gender stereotypes and speaks her mind when needed. She can be intimidating, too--her mere presence can silence obnoxious lawyers.
On top of these traits, she is one gorgeous woman. Statuesque with a winsome smile.
Yet she has one deep, dark secret: she is a victim of domestic violence.
Her boyfriend is not the best-looking guy in the world. He earns a fortune less compared to her. By all indications, she seemed happy. She just laughs at the many people wonder what she saw in him. She tells everybody it is love.
But the guy is insecure and so he starts to compensate. Instead of lifting her up, he dragged her down. He chipped at her self-esteem one insult at a time. He slowly made her believe that she is unattractive and that no other guy will even bother with her. He insists that he wear clothes that make her look ordinary. He also started subtle violence. First, he would hold her arms tightly it hurt. Then sometimes he’d hold her hand and yank it like a chain. Then the kiddie punches and pinches started. Soon, punches to the stomach were normal.
Once he told her to order a dish, yet Venus chose to order a different one. In return he slapped her. In public. Then he led her out quickly lest the cops arrive.
A few months later I learned that she finally broke up with him.
I asked her what happened.
She said she had become so successful that she intimidated men. Noone wanted to date her. And when this guy took a chance, they became a couple.
Then I asked why she endured all that abuse. She just said “ I don’t know if another guy will ever ask me out.”
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